What’s wonderfully refreshing about life is that it’s not a goal to chase nor a destination to arrive at. It’s not even a “journey” if we’re being totally honest. Life is an “experience”, coloured by our perceptions, felt through our emotions and rationalised in our mind.

The more you experience, the more you live and learn about yourself, about others and the world around you. The first – learning about yourself – entails exploring the two most powerful forces within you: your mind and your heart; then observing their relationship in your daily life (i.e. does one dominate or do they complement each other). The importance of this exploration cannot be overstated: quite simply, it will go a long way towards determining how your life plus out.

This Article – the third in a series of four – delivers 8 simple steps aimed at helping your “experience” to become as powerful, as wonderful and as heartfelt as you want it to be from this day forth.

(Make sure you have a pen and paper handy)

Here are the 8 steps:

Step 1: Take a helicopter view of your life, by writing down the 10 things that dominate your daily routine (i.e. “looking after my kids”, “working my job as a …”, “surfing internet/social media”, etc.). Include 2 or 3 thoughts (that continuously feature) within the list, i.e. “I worry about the future” or “I have an optimistic outlook”.

Step 2: Visualise yourself doing these 10 things, one by one, observing your energy as you do. For instance, “positive energy in my job”; “negative energy doing my chores”; “neutral energy grocery shopping”, and so on. Tap into the internal energy compass (your gut!) and colour code (using a highlighter) with 3 distinct colours based on the overall feeling you have (i.e. “overall I like my job (so that’s a positive) even if some days I don’t”).

Step 3: Create Your Vision of Happiness: what does happiness feel like to you (as opposed to what it looks like)? Close your eyes and try to connect to your deepest self. Write down no more than 3 words.

Going well! You are proving your commitment to yourself… let’s now continue the exploration.

Step 4: Choose your 3 Core Values, by answering the question that resonates most in you out of … 1) what 3 values give you wings (to fly) just by thinking about them (i.e. love, honesty, helping other, etc.)? 2) What 3 things matter most to you above all else? When you have your 3 values written down, move on.

Step 5: Choose your 3 Core Behaviours, by thinking about what “processes” give you the greatest “pain” in life. For instance, if (mis)communication is at the root of many relationship problems you have at home or at work – then select “communication” as a behaviour you need to work on. If you feel you’re indecisive and this frustrates you, perhaps choose “decision-making” as a process. Choose 3 “somethings” that if you could improve them, you know would make a MASSIVE positive difference.

Step 6: Choose your 3 Core Aspirations, by asking yourself: what do you want MOST in life right now? Write down what comes straight to you without thinking. Once you’ve done it 3 times, ask yourself whether each aspiration is something that you want to have … something you want to do … someone you want to be, and simply acknowledge the difference. Whatever you have chosen is right for you now.

Here’s something amazing! In Steps 4 to 6, you have created your “Power of 9” (3 values, 3 processes, 3 aspirations). Make sure you remember these 9 “pillars” going forward. Why? Because they are the very essence of who you are and will help you make better decisions.

Step 7: Use the Power of your Sub-Conscious Mind, by having your “Power of 9” written on a piece of paper that remains beside your bed. Every morning before you get into “doing” mode, take a moment to “be” by reading the paper 3 times with feeling and passion, reminding yourself of who you are (your 3 values), how you want to improve certain behaviours (your 3 processes), and what you want most in life (your 3 aspirations).

Step 8: Merge How You Live (your list of “10 things”) with Who You Are (your “Power of 9”), by taking a few moments each day to connect “what” you are doing (i.e. working, looking after kids, resting, etc.) with your “Power of 9” (i.e. honesty, decision-making, freedom). This serves to answer the “why” of what you do, and to constantly return to the exploration and alignment of your heart and mind.

Four words to bring it all together:


And let the real you shine through.

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